In Due Time
Brandee Craddock
I guess I'm in a state of confusion
My mind racing, emotions fusing
Because for the longest time I was under the illusion
That I was happy with the way things are
And that there was no need to go Farther
Than the current status we're in
I had thought this was something like a compromise
Something mutualized, for the sake of our relationship
But what we are is more so commercialized
Meaning the only person who benefits is you
Because I, I want us to be much more
And you, you're content with where you are, and
The more this continues, the more our little understanding
Becomes a parasite
Cause see
There used to be a time
In which our souls felt intertwined
You were on my heart, and I was on your mind
And just like that, we vibed
A love locked, hearts stopped
And myself was embedded inside you
And yourself was embedded inside me
And everything was just perfect
Cause see
We had been the epitome
Of what puppy love seemed to be
And I loved you with a love vast as seven seas
I loved you, more than birds love trees
More than flowers love bees
I did,
But now, it seems to me
This wasn't meant to be
Because you, you say you need me
More than a lock needs a key
But even so, you act like all you want
Is to be free
From the picket fence that is commitment
And all the while, I just go along and agree
For the sake of keeping you happy
With the idea of you and me
But see,
This is not a place where I want to be
Because if I let you let go
Of our gravity,
Then what happens to me
Rotted Roots
Brandee Craddock
I come from the city of red and blue lights
Begging hands and occupied corners
I come from a land where
Newport butts sprout from lemon-lime grasses like weeds
Where the cats roam free
Nestled under tires of illegally parked cars, or
Scraping at the remnants of last night's
Take-out behind big, green dumpsters
I come from yellowed windows
Wolf-whistles down the block
And heybabycomeheres
Constantly echoing
Where men like hounds smell
Fear clinging on your skin like that
Itchy sweater my grandma Debbie bought from Old Navy,
but I wore it anyway
I come from a land divided
"Hoods" separated by a mere block or two
and here,
You either get down with the big dogs
Or six feet under soil if you don't go head about your business
And even then, your canine-like "neighbors"
Can be ruthless
I come from black evenings and starless skies
Tear-stained pillows from the nights I
spent crying, remembering the times
I had been alone in the small world that surrounds me
I come from silent screams reverberating in the darkness
Bullets and pocketknives
And may the best squad win
Because we don't fight alone
I come from beefs between streets
And beef and broccoli filled Chinese boxes
From Lenny's, from Eddie's, China Dragons
I come from greasy boxes of
Fried chicken, fried fish, French fries
Fried somethings wafting through screen doors
Train stations and bus stops, streetlights
Shortcuts left and right
Where once, I left my trust behind
And learned to walk with my eyes on my back
Where the face of a stranger just after 9 or 10 pm on a cold, charcoal night
Will raise goosebumps on my skin, and not
because it's a little chilly outside
I come from families torn apart
Teddy bears tied to trees
And tennis shoes dangling from telephone wires
Where my best friend Jillian
Made cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve
A kitten and new CDs for her Yuletide wishes
And all I wanted was two parents in my home
I come from the land of lost souls
And broken dreams like the bottles from
Friday night that litter cracked sidewalks
I come from clutched brown paper bags
From liquor stores,
10 cents off gas prices on Thursdays-
No thanks, I'd rather walk, and
Thank God for Metro's color-coded lines
And SmarTrips in my back pocket
I come from a Devil's playground
But I made it my mission to escape
From these rotted roots and
Find a Heaven in this Hell on Earth
